It’s happened three or four separate times over the past year or so. He’s popped into my brain, a complete persona - face, voice, a whole bundle of preconceived ideas and perceptions - but nameless. It’s something kind of like Sam, I always think. Something related to Teddy, maybe, or maybe I’m just thinking of Teddy Geiger?1 Each time, I have refused to look it up, with the notion that It’ll be more satisfying to remember on my own. (Plus, it doesn’t matter at all.)
Now, the reason why Andy Grammer enters my mind is because I haven’t stopped thinking about his song “Honey I’m Good” since it came out almost five years ago. It’s an incredibly catchy song that I also happen to hate, from an aesthetic point of view. But that’s not why I’m obsessed with it. I'm obsessed with the absurdity of it's message.
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| Okay, I lied about the face. This dude doesn't look familiar at all, except in that he looks like Generic White Dude A. |
In case you're lucky enough to have made it this far in life without hearing the song, here's what you need to know: it sounds like the uptight, sweater-wearing cousin of "Cotton-Eyed Joe" and the lyrics of the chorus are:
"Nah, nah, honey I'm good
I could have another but I probably should not
I've got somebody at home
And if I stay, I might not leave alone."
The only part of this I might not hate is the delay on "should . . . NOT." And that's only if I'm in a particularly light-hearted mood.
The first time I ever heard this song, it was courtesy of a coworker of mine at Subway. (The same coworker, incidentally, once asked me if I had ever seen the Harry Potter Puppet Pals “Ticking Time Bomb” video and then, when I said I had, still proceeded to recite the entire thing verbatim, playing all the parts herself - while I, you know, worked.) As part of her pitch, she told me that, unlike most pop songs, this one actually had a good message. It was all about being responsible and loyal and honoring commitment and so on.
Now, that sounds nice but when you actually listen to the song, things get a little fuzzier. I think it was my mom who first articulated one response to it: hearing your significant other say that they were about one drink away from cheating on you and came home instead wouldn’t exactly make you feel great about that relationship. Jesus certainly wouldn’t approve, if that sort of thing happens to be your bag. (It was very much the bag of my coworker, who in addition to memorizing Youtube videos also found time to go on mission trips to Uganda.) “He who looks on a woman with lust” and all of that.
But even if we do accept that this is a song about being Responsible, that still seems like a bizarre thing to write a song about. I mean, it's a fine thing to do. But not a fitting subject for music. Music (and art more generally) is supposed to be the realm of passion, of irrationality, of frenzy and chaos and emotion. That’s why Plato was afraid of it and why Nietzsche worshiped it. Save Order and Responsibility and Being a Good Citizen for, like, every other area of our life. Let us at least have pop music! Give me trashing hotel rooms and swimming pools full of alcohol and staying up all night. I worked hard all week, man. The last thing I want to hear on Friday night is some Ben Franklin proverb set to music.
Writing a song about leaving the bar early is like writing a song about brushing your teeth2 or getting the mail or taking out the garbage. Yeah, we all do it, and society wouldn’t run if we didn’t, but that doesn’t mean we have to like it. It doesn’t mean we have to pretend it’s romantic or exciting or sexy.
Get out of here, Andy Grammer. Now that I think of it, I’m glad I forgot your name.3
1 A trans woman, now, apparently.
2 Unless you're Ke$ha and it's with a bottle of Jack, of course.
3 But now I've cursed myself and will never forget it again.
The first time I ever heard this song, it was courtesy of a coworker of mine at Subway. (The same coworker, incidentally, once asked me if I had ever seen the Harry Potter Puppet Pals “Ticking Time Bomb” video and then, when I said I had, still proceeded to recite the entire thing verbatim, playing all the parts herself - while I, you know, worked.) As part of her pitch, she told me that, unlike most pop songs, this one actually had a good message. It was all about being responsible and loyal and honoring commitment and so on.
Now, that sounds nice but when you actually listen to the song, things get a little fuzzier. I think it was my mom who first articulated one response to it: hearing your significant other say that they were about one drink away from cheating on you and came home instead wouldn’t exactly make you feel great about that relationship. Jesus certainly wouldn’t approve, if that sort of thing happens to be your bag. (It was very much the bag of my coworker, who in addition to memorizing Youtube videos also found time to go on mission trips to Uganda.) “He who looks on a woman with lust” and all of that.
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| If you pitched this as a propaganda song for a movie about a capitalist dystopia, the director would tell you it was too on the nose. |
Writing a song about leaving the bar early is like writing a song about brushing your teeth2 or getting the mail or taking out the garbage. Yeah, we all do it, and society wouldn’t run if we didn’t, but that doesn’t mean we have to like it. It doesn’t mean we have to pretend it’s romantic or exciting or sexy.
Get out of here, Andy Grammer. Now that I think of it, I’m glad I forgot your name.3
1 A trans woman, now, apparently.
2 Unless you're Ke$ha and it's with a bottle of Jack, of course.
3 But now I've cursed myself and will never forget it again.
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